Throughout October, the Aubia Communications Blog will focus on the social aspect of social media. To kick it off, this first post looks at the benefits of commenting throughout the blogosphere. I then turn to other bloggers about the benefits and pitfalls of hosting guest bloggers, followed by a post on how to be more visually appealing on your social media platforms. Finally, I end the month-long focus with a look at other social media platforms in foreign countries.

(Mark Schaefer recently gave away 10 blog post ideas he came up with but never fully developed. The first on the list, Engagement is an honor, is about the privilege of a community manager in hearing from his members, Thanks, Mark, for the great idea and the editorial liberty to take it in a new direction.)

“Please Moderate: New comment on Aubia Communications Blog Post.”

This is one of the most exciting email subject lines I can read when I open my inbox.  Short of doing my happy dance, I really flip out over these.

I love to know people are actually reading what I’m writing. It’s always a concern you’re putting in all this hard work to create valuable content just to the sound of crickets. When a comment comes in or the piece is shared on social media, it’s validation that what you’ve put your heart into is actually worthy.

Many blogs today, however, are cutting this social space out of their content, sending readers to social media platforms to carry on the conversation. One of the big names that has recently taken this path is a favorite of mine, Copyblogger. Though Copyblogger co-founder Sonia Simone gives some thought-provoking reasons for this decision, I find it ironic that it’s also her philosophy that I base one of my strongest arguments against the practice – digital sharecropping.

Why should blogs allow be grateful for commenting?

To use a term from my days in the Department of Defense, BLUF, or Bottom Line Up Front, – Time. In a world where time is a commodity more valuable than gold, an engaged community member took his precious time to develop a comment and leave it for you. She thought enough of your hard work to take time out of her busy day to acknowledge your thoughts. She declared you worthy.

I agree not all comments are created equal. The spammers suck with sales comments that having nothing to do with the content and the fly-by guys who contribute nothing more than “great post” can be disappointing, but when you get the ones that really contribute to the dialogue, it makes it all worthwhile.

I’m against Copyblogger’s new policy because it also loses great pieces of content for the site. Thoughtful commenters leave great nuggets of wisdom the author may have never even considered. If you push all that great discussion to Facebook or Google Plus, what happens if those sites shut you down? You’ve just lost all of that wisdom.

Simone addresses this exact worry, stating the conversation is more about the experience than the content, and that we never truly own any of our platforms as we share those creations with our communities. I agree with her sentiments, except when I don’t.

The conversation with an engaged community member is about the experience, but I want that person to tangibly know I’m honored he took the time to read and comment on my work. By thanking her in a response comment so anyone can see it and addressing her thoughts, she has tangible evidence of my commitment.

I truly believe you must co-create a community, and that the only way to do that is by letting go of complete control of your platforms. By allowing your community members to have a say in how you operate, you give them ownership and a reason to engage with you. Denying comments on blog posts takes away that ownership.

If you look through my blog here and my travel blog, you’ll notice I don’t have a ton of comments on my posts. I usually get more interaction on my social media platforms. There are still, however, a few people who prefer to interact here or don’t even use social media. Either way, I don’t want to deny anyone where they are most comfortable engaging with me. To provide that level of service and the engagement I receive from it makes the time I spend deleting spam comments worthwhile.

Comments are a way to build community. Not only are comments a conversation between the author and the community member, but they become a means for other community members to reach out to each other. When community members are engaging with each other and not just in a direct conversation with you, you’re providing a great space. Through dialogue and interaction, you’re giving people a means to find resources, make connections and share experiences.

Finally, commenting allows you to create a support network. As you support your community members, they will support you. When you’ve allowed them to have a hand in the creation of your organization, your members will be more apt to proclaim you and your services from the mountaintops and defend you from the trolls.

Spreading the commenting love

With all that said, you’d think I’d be a commenting machine on other blogs. I have more than three dozen blogs currently in my Feedly, and I’m always stumbling across new ones and adding them. I, however, am more of a lurker than a commenter. At least until the last few months when I forced myself out of my commenting shell.

Like many others, I’ve had a fear of exposing myself. I’m an introvert by nature, and I’ve lived by the proverb “It’s better to let others think you a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.” BLUF – I didn’t want to be judged.

So, what’s changed in the last few months? How did I get over this fear?

1. If you want to be part of the dance, you’ve got to dance

Many of the blogs I read already have an established community that offers great benefits. The Spin Sucks Crazies are a tight-knit group that love helping each other out and making each other laugh with their off-the-wall comments. I wanted to be part of that more than I feared being exposed. Since meeting the Crazie leader, Gini Dietrich, in May, I’ve been commenting on more posts there. My comments have been received well, and I’ve had many questions answered with insightful information. I wouldn’t consider myself a full-fledged Crazy, yet, but I’m on my way.

2. Give yourself a little credit

Each of us has an unique set of experiences that can’t be duplicated. Once I realized this, I began to understand that my insight into a blog topic could offer another perspective not yet considered. Recently on a Spin Sucks post, I was actually able to help other community members with a stock photo resource they didn’t know about. It was a great feeling.

3. Remember the Golden Rule

If you want to receive comments, if you want to build community, you must first give to receive. When you comment on others’ blogs, you give them and the rest of the community a means of finding you and your platforms. Be thoughtful in your comments, not just a passerby. When you start to leave comments, you’re leaving a calling card. Be sure it’s for something you want to be remembered for and not just a ploy for recognition. During the past few months as I’ve commented more on others’ blog posts, I’ve noticed a bit of a uptick in visits to my site. I’m still waiting for more comments, but I believe they’ll come soon.

4. Get out of your own way

We can get so caught up in our own internal dialogues and uncertainties that we miss the opportunities around us. Sometimes you just have to stop and say “You’re just not that big of a deal.” Just because I comment on a blog post doesn’t mean the entire world gets a look into the deepest part of my soul. There are lots of commenters out there that have struggled with the same issues, and their fears were just as real as yours. They began commenting, and their worlds haven’t fallen apart just because they left their thoughts in a public forum. Though I’ve had a few tough moments struggling with self-doubt about comments I’ve left, I’m still here.

What does engagement mean to you?

Engagement is certainly an honor, and commenting and encouraging comments on blog posts are great ways to co-create your community. Do you think blogs that are restricting comments are denying engagement opportunities? Or do you agree with removing comment sections?

Take a leap of faith and leave your thoughts in the comments.